My Emergency
by zeropointchoirgirl
Summary: Things like this you just don’t see coming. Sure enough as I walked through those doors, there he was, just sitting there, gazing off into whatever fantasy he had concocted this time around. JD/Cox Friendship. One-Shot.


_**Author's Notes: **__Hello there! So, this is my first Scrubs fic AND one-shot, so it's gonna be a little rough…er, a lot of rough. xD; Basically, I was listening to the songs "Emergency" by Paramore, "i i e e e" by Tori Amos, "Even in Death" by Evanescence, "Field of Innocence" by Evanescence, "Spark" by Tori Amos, "Jòga" by Björk, "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence, and "Hand of Sorrow" by Within Temptation. It's a crazy list, I know. I'm warning you now, some of it gets really dark, sad and emotional like…so yeah, warning ya. :P Don't be too harsh, and sorry if it's ADD…I'm extremely tired. Enjoy!_

_Things like this you just don't see coming._

Sure enough as I walked through those doors, there he was, just sitting there, gazing off into whatever fantasy he had concocted this time around. Of all days I chose to take off and spend out in the city to avoid him by any means necessary, he chose to come to the one place I would be at, no less. Obviously he couldn't have known I was coming there, because I didn't even know I was going to come to this restaurant until five short minutes ago. Clearly he hadn't been there long, seeing as though the waiter hadn't come around to his table yet. I thought maybe if I could hurry and walk right back out of those doors just the way I came, I could avoid him just a little while longer. Of course, as fate would have it, the moment I began to turn around, that annoying, weak voice echoed through my head like an unbearable headache.

"Dr. Cox! What are you doing here?"

_I was roped in and there wasn't any getting out of it._

His voice, still as whiney as ever, had an undeniable sadness to it of the likes I couldn't bear. I wanted to avoid confrontation with him for a few days due to his situation; I wasn't emotionally equipped to handle it. I couldn't turn my back on him now or it would just make things worse. I felt bad for the kid; I really did, but after what happened last time when I tried to open up and hug him, I punched the kid in the face. Truth be told, he brought it on himself, there was no question about that. Sure, I could have been more kind considering his situation, but when I tell someone not to do something and clea-HEER-ly warn them of what they are about to do again, I mean every word of what I say. Although, this time seemed different, especially when I saw his face that clearly showed me just how well he was taking it.

_Newbie's mom had passed away._

"Newbie—I was just about to ask you the same question." After saying that, it seemed as though he wanted to say something badly. The kid's eyes looked like glass and the light coming through the window next to him made them glow ethereally.

"Um…eating out, trying to clear my mind, I guess…," he paused momentarily as I watched him slowly bring himself to ask me, "did you try to walk away before I saw you?" he asked, his voice timid and clear.

I knew he'd eventually come out and say that, but I couldn't believe the anxiousness and the way his words never seemed to have lost its rhythm. The stupid thing about it was he already knew the answer—knew why I was at that restaurant and not at work. "Look, Newbie. I'm not going to act like nothing happened, that wasn't my intention, but I'm not good at this…emotional crap, and you sure as hell know why I started to walk away, I shouldn't have to explain myself to you because you clea-HEER-ly know me well enough to understand that."

_Now it was time for me to comfort him the best way I knew how._

He looked at me with those doe eyes of his, somehow keeping the tears from escaping, but he didn't look mad—just disappointed. "It's alright, Dr. Cox, I understand. It's just…you just can't avoid problems like these, and I don't care if I ever get that hug or whatever, I'd just like to know for once you actually cared," his cold, serious but still weak voice said to me, and he suddenly made direct eye contact with me and finished, "…about me."

_And there it was._

He couldn't hold it back any longer, the dam broke, yet he remained calm and collected. He turned away from me and he gave me the choice to stay or go by motioning me to sit down. I chose to stay. He needed me. This just wasn't me, but something was definitely different this time and it wasn't just his mother's passing that got to him. Maybe everything just got to the kid, who knows? I sat down in front of Newbie and watched him as he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts looking out the tinted window. The waitress finally come up to us and handed us our menus. It took long enough, although the place was certainly packed.

"What kind of drinks would you like to have?"

"Just some water for the both of us, thanks." She was so busy with orders she didn't care to notice Newbie's silent tears, and they certainly weren't hard to miss.

"I'll be back in a while, okay sir? We're overwhelmed with costumers today." She walked off, not particularly paying any attention to whom she was serving.

Newbie's gaze met mine. I had absolutely no idea what to do in situations like that, but I guess I could start asking. "What's really wrong, JD?"

_ I was coming face to face with Newbie's point of no return._

I caught him by surprise. As quick as the surprise, he recomposed himself and began.

"Dr. Cox…have you ever felt like you're standing in the middle of cathedrals, screaming out, and no one is there to hear you? I feel that way. It's…I'm between a rock and a hard place," he smiled incoherently, "and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing—about anything. All I know is that I wake up and go to work, trying to save people and watching them die as well as my relationships that I self-sabotage because I only want what I can't have, and then I have to go back home to deal with all that hanging on my shoulders and have to repeat it every single morning. You know, it wouldn't be so bad if you had someone there for you, someone who'll listen, to understand you, and be there for you when times get hard, you know? I don't have that. You _constantly_ treat me like I'm crap and you play this big bad wolf character that everyone is supposed to fear and you use that as your shield—you're bulletproof."

"Do you know how badly I want that? To no longer be able to feel vulnerable and to feel nothing at all when I need to? I don't want to be emotionally crippled—I don't, I want to be like you—but a better and a more successful you. I've looked up to you as a mentor since day one, and you've shown me virtually no compassion or even openly acknowledged me as your protégé. Are you even _capable_ of feeling what us regular people feel, really? I let it go with my dad, but now—now, when I need you again, you chose to _ignore_ me and walk away from me just because you don't like to show that you actually _may_ care about something other than yourself at the risk of losing that tough guy act that you've so proudly gained among your colleagues and over yourself? What is it, Dr. Cox, what is it? Why is it so hard to act human for you? Why? Is it all just an act? What is it?" JD's words collapsed as he stopped and looked down at the menu in front of him emptily.

_He was going down a road no person should ever go, no matter what the circumstance._

Wide eyed, I had only one thing to say to all that. "Wow," I muttered somberly. Before I could even begin contemplating his whining and how he may have been right about me, I was interrupted by him saying something that really shocked me.

"My mom didn't just die you know…she was killed. A bridge she was driving on collapsed and fell, injuring five other people, but she was the only one that didn't survive." He said that in such a painfully numb manner that I could now tell exactly what happened. Something inside JD snapped and triggered all these things that he's held back—an emotional breakdown. "A drunk driver ran off the road and hit the support of the bridge and it just gave in. Even the drunk didn't die, he's in critical condition but I just wish..." His eyes trailed off once again and he seemed to have stopped crying.

After everything he said, it just didn't seem typical for Newbie to whine like that without some sort of catalyst, something to trigger all these surfaced emotions to come to the surface and to lose it in small bursts. There was certainly no way I was leaving now, not after everything he's said to me. Doesn't his fellow girl scouts support him and cater to his every whim enough or what? It doesn't matter either way, because Newbie needs saving.

_Then I realized that I owed Newbie for saving me from myself when I lost those three patients._

I knew just what I had to do. I had to help pull him through this, and pull him through this I would. It's not a lot, but I'd buy him lunch. As if by clockwork, the waitress came back over to our table, her gaze still not focused intently on what's going. I realized I hadn't even looked at the menu, so I had to point-and-choose.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, I would like…the fish and scallop combo. What about you, Newbie?" Not my first choice.

"Just a chef salad and some rolls, thanks," he said, talking towards his menu the whole time. He must have lost his appetite.

"Alright, dolls, you'll be served as soon as possible," she whispered, taking our menus from us and walked away.

"Newbie, you sure you don't want any more than that? I'll pay for the meal if that's what you're worried about."

"No, Dr. Cox, it's okay. Thanks…" he mumbled under his breath.

_I have to turn this all around and get my Newbie back._

"Newbie, look, the first thing you learned when you wanted to become a doctor is that you will sometimes save lives and you'll sometimes lose others, it's just the way it works and that's okay—and your mom? There was nothing you could have done to prevent that drunk from driving into the bridge and save your mom, not all the way from California. There was nothing you could have done to save her, there just wasn't. Remember those three patients and when I blamed myself for their deaths and tried to slowly kill myself by drinking? You helped me through that in your own way like what I'm trying to do now. Some people just die for absolutely no reason at all and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it. You can't let it get to you and you have got to move on. I understand that it's too soon to get over your loss, but you have to stop blaming yourself for something you had absolutely no power over."

"I know I haven't been the best…well, _mentor_, to you, but Newbie, you gotta understand, all this stuff is new to me. I've always been used to flying solo and have been afraid of putting myself out there but kid, I do understand, I just don't know how to show that I do, you know? With being a loner, I never had to deal with these situations because I didn't interact with people and it was so much simpler. I even _tried_ to hug you when your dad died—that itself is almost surely _not_ going to happen again. But the thing here is that you have to sweat the small stuff and remember that, though it's sometimes hard to believe, there will be better days and life moves on, and just forget about all the trivial matters in life and realize that _surprise_—the earth hasn't stopped rotating because you feel alone. Guess what Newbie? In more ways than one, we are all alone somehow. I understand how you feel when you find that no one is there to help you out, but Newbie, I hope you realize that nobody is going to come save your ass every time you screw up or if something doesn't go right, or heaven forbid, you lose that one dream girl that you've just been so _crazy_ about for the past couple of hours that you just cannot live without and you need someone to talk to about it!"

"What I'm trying to say is…you have to tackle each problem one at a time to prevent this horrible sob-fest from happening again and you'll be able to handle things much, _much_ better than you ever could before. The only reason why all this is getting to you now in the first place is you let it build up inside of you, you never cared to let it out as much as you let on with everyone, because we all know just how girly you are, Ginger, and how emotional you can get when you're PMS'ing, but you don't ever release the stress and pressure from all this and it just builds up over time, and then you have this huge bomb go off with your mom dying and lighting that last fuse, and now look," I began to softened my tone, "Newbie, you're not superman. You're going to feel overwhelmed, your mom just died and now that she's not there anymore, all these problems you have are finally hitting you. I believe you can tackle them, I really do, and I'm not just saying that, because you are a smart kid. I'll…help anyway I can, and you always have Gandhi, Blondie, and Carla there for you, just don't be afraid to ask for any. Newbie, you can't waste away in your own self-pity, or it'll be the death of you."

_Maybe to tighten this deal, I should reconsider giving him that hug._

Newbie was taken completely off guard by my extremely long rant, but the look in his eyes and the way he looked at me told me he'd get through this, that he'd be at work the next day, ready to annoy me like it was any other work day. Suddenly, the waitress came by with our food and sat it down on the table, Newbie eyeballing my scallops.

"…you don't eat scallops."

I smiled. "No, I don't. Eat, Newbie."

He poked at his salad and smirked a little. "Thanks, Dr. Cox…I really appreciate you staying and listening to me. It really means a lot."

"I know it does, Newbie."

"…you called me JD earlier. What was that for?"

"Just don't expect it to become a regular thing of mine, got it, Patricia?"

"Got it."

"Good. Maybe if you finish your food…I'll reconsider that hug."

"You will!? I-I mean—you will?" he gasped with excitement in his Newbie eyes.

"Shut up and eat before I change my mind,"

"Okay. Thanks…Perry."

"No."

"I figured it wouldn't work…"

"Eat."

"Okay."

_He was going to be alright._

_**Author's Notes: **__So, that concludes "My Emergency!" It may be a while before I write another one; I'm probably going to practice with some ideas before I start, who knows, but tell me if anything needs fixing and please forgive me, this is my first Scrubs/one-shot ever…so it's rough._


End file.
